C.K.L.'S HOTSHEET ^*

01 MOZILLA.ORG Go right to the source and ask the horse. / He'll give you the answer that you'll endorse / He's always on a steady course. / Talk to Mister Ed!

02 OF LIGHT AND DARKNESS Hate the sin, but love the sinner. And put the square peg in the square hole.

03 DEAD BABIES There's no statute of limitations on homicide.

04 LOG-ME-ON.COM Tired of toting around your bookmarks file? Now you can store your amassed links online and access them from anywhere in the connected world. (Of course, I really wouldn't trust people who use Active Server Pages and have a suspiciously vague privacy policy.)

05 B.O.O.K.^TM You've probably seen this already. It first made the rounds in 1996, and again with a shorter version in 1997. Internet humor never dies-- it just gets re-written.

06 PAULA JONES Her sexual harrassment lawsuit has been denied a proper trial. But the media trial continues. (You too can be on the jury! Just turn on your television...)

07 JIM MULLEN No, not the Entertainment Weekly fixture... this one's a former Chicago cop who loves Ricobene's breaded steak sandwich and fries. Coincidence? Well, yeah, probably.

08 AT&T + CITIBANK = ? AT&T Universal Card Services (UCS) is sold to Citibank for $3.5 billion. Unfortunately, there's still no money-back guarantee on long-distance calls.

09 CASETOGGLE Hacks like this are dandy, but when the hell is someone going to port Emacs to the PalmPilot?

10 TURBOTAX ONLINE If these bastards had told me I needed to turn on JavaScript before attempting to file on their website, I'd have been much less annoyed at the $15 processing fee. Bastards.

11 DRAGON EGGS Join the hunt.

12 WILLIAM SHATNER Chatting on TalkCity and hawking prepaid phone cards... oh, how the mighty have fallen.

13 INTERNET TELEPHONY SURCHAGES If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then let's kill it and cook it and eat it!

14 A PARTY "Call it what you want (we're trying to call it a housewarming but it's 8 months late) ... Yes, that's right, it's your chance to visit the house of Alder, Anthony, Anne, and Danny in all of its shag carpet, suspended stairway, funky linoleum glory. You'll swear that the Brady Bunch are hiding somewhere in a closet."